September 20, 2010

The Real Me

I know I've been a little absent these days. To be real with you for a minute, its been really hard for me to keep up with Self Stitched September, blog and sew. I lead a very busy life, like many of you I'm sure. I love sewing. And this blog and the events I participate in really are a very passionate outlet for me.

But then I have this J-O-B. I don't like talking about it. I don't like thinking about it. I don't like doing it. It's not where I want to be and it doesn't have anything to do with who I am, what I want and where I want to go in life. It really has absolutely nothing to do with sewing either. And this job gets the better of me most of the time.

I was having a rather brilliant conversation with my sis the other night. I usually do, because she is a rather brilliant person to talk to. She's quite witty. She said the most amazing thing. She's a little uncannily real like that. She said, "There's more to life than just giving all your time to 'The Man'." I would like to second this declaration. There is more to life than giving all your energy to a job. I mean unless you love your career. But then we're getting into careers, not jobs, right?

Getting back to the point at hand, I wanted to say that though I have this busy life I'm trying to do something about it. Especially this Stitched September madness. It's important that I prove to myself that "The Man" isn't going to win. Because, Damn It! He's not! I will take a photo everyday and I will wear something that I made everyday and I will come out on top!

And though this post might seem a little pointless to you, I wanted to also say that for all you who are in the same situation as me, Don't give all your time to The Man. Don't feel guilty that you have a passion that you really want to pursue. And for Hell's sake, don't you dare let The Man win! You're not in competition with Him anyway. Give some goodness to yourself. Let yourself take the lead. Don't forget what's really important.

Do. Be. Am.

Just checking in with a little thought for your day. Don't mind me. I tend to ramble. A lot. You guys are the best! Oh, and don't forget to let me know that I'm not in it alone. And please excuse my expletives. Got caught up in the moment and all that.


  1. Amen, and amen! I wish you all the best in the short time on keeping your positive outlook, and long term (perhaps a short long term) in finding an occupation that makes it much easier to keep a positive outlook. If that makes any sense! I can tell just from browsing your me-made pages that you have a fabulous sense of the real you, and I love how you express it!

  2. Thank you so much for the insightful look into you. My heart fell a little bit as I read my own feelings on the screen. My husband's job takes him away from us all week and we only see him for the weekends. I dislike my job as it keeps me away from our two little sons for 8 hours and all that I enjoy. How true we let a job rule our lives. Thank you for your honesty. And good luck in all you do in the Self-Stitched September.

  3. Your zeal for sewing, and your particular blogging voice means a lot to me. Thanks for being so passionate and inspiring me with every post!

  4. Sunni!
    This was so great to start my day with. I am in exactly the same situation. My job situation may be changing a bit (possibly more hours, yay?) and i have been really protective of my sewing time. Because there are things that I want to do with my life that need just as much time and devotion as my job but have nothing to do with my job and no one pays me to them but they must be done so I feel like a person.
    I am rooting for you lady!

  5. I completely agree. Reading your post has provoked a mixture of emotions in me and I can't quite find the words to write them. I too am in a similar situation, sometimes reading what other people are going through helps you to see things a little clearer yourself. Thank you.

  6. I know that it's the tough times that end up making us into quality people-yes, but it stinks at the time. I hope you find something in your future that ignites your passion that you can do everyday.
    I'm almost an empty nester and I'm trying to find my passion again...

  7. I was in your situation for a long time. I learned late in my life (I'm 64) that unless I change something, things will roll along to their natural conclusion. What I could have done was to find a job nearer in spirit to where my passions lay, even if lower pay. Hunker down, but have better moments- life is only in the moments. A happier you can see further than a bitter you. it is a very scary thing, to turn your back on a paycheck. Do ask all your friends to help you find a place to start. My own sister did not offer to help because she did not know how I'd take it. I had not opened myself up enough to her so she could help me. I tried to "tough it out", and I guess a little of my pride prevented people from reaching out to help.
    Take little steps. You can change your life.

  8. I dream of the day when getting ready for the work-day might mean making sure I have enough supplies for my creative projects, instead of making sure I've packed all the documents I might need for my clients.
    Recently, my office asked me to step up to a managerial position. I hestiate, because that would mean I can't pretend I don't really work, or that this is just temporary.
    In the meantime, I try to stuff as much creative time into my evenings as I can.

  9. Sunni - I couldn't agree with you more!! I realized about 9 months ago that my job was just a job, and nobody was going to die if I didn't get something done or left work early to persue the activities that I love. I decided to make a change. I've been saving for those last nine months and decide that I'm quitting said job next year to take some time off. I'm so excited to spend my time how I want to: which will be sewing, sewing and more sewing, and hanging out with the people that really do matter - family and friends. Please know that you are all alone and you will find your way. If it's in your heart, it will happen!

  10. Sunni, I love this post! I feel you, totally. Spending lunch breaks eating at a desk, working thankless unpaid overtime, and constantly feeling the pressure to work harder and better and longer can really drain you. A J-O-B is not your (or mine or anyone's) entire life. Missing family dinners due to urgent work disasters and fielding weekend phone calls from the office is no way to live.
    Not a pointless post at all! Thanks for sharing and know you're not alone, not one bit! Don't let the strain of everyday life get you down, and always be the fun, passionate, creative person we love to read about!

  11. I really feel for you as I'm in a similar position but grateful to read some sensible words via your sister and other commentors, especially Cherie.
    I have a job not a career and even though I can force myself to put on a happy face while teaching the same boring thing year after year, it's energy / creativity sapping and I don't even get paid when I'm sick! Then yesterday I had the worst fight with my boss's maternity cover idiot replacement who was on some kind of power trip and wanted to make me feel inadequate and insecure because I'm underqualified for the job that everyone else (including absent boss!) agrees that for the last 6 years I've done as well if not better than the 'academics' with the relevant letters after their name. I stood up for myself but cried a lot yesterday. Today I'm angry, and partly angry with myself for getting into this situation. It's complicated and I'm not brave enough to share the way you have done (except here!). I think the reason I got so upset was realising how my job affects my mood, my free time, and my hobbies on a daily basis, then computing that I wasn't even appreciated (by this person) for my qualities, but de-valued on the basis of a certificate I don't have, and in all honesty, don't need. Sorry to rant here. I just wanted to say that I really understand your situation and somehow writing that down has made me feel a bit better. I don't know what I'm going to do about my own situation but I don't want to give that person the satisfaction of seeing me leave because of what he's said and done. But I want to leave so badly, not because of him but because the job itself is crushing my spirit!
    I don't know you but you seem really genuine and honest and make the most beautiful clothes in such happy colours. I hope you are able to make the best choices for you and that you can find a way of making money that allows you to do what you want and be happy. I watched Thelma and Louise a couple of weeks ago in a post-work sofa slump and I've had 'you get what you settle for' line ringing in my ears ever since. I prefer the 'there's more to life than work' angle!
    Take care and be yourself, even if you stay where you are for a bit. xx

  12. Thanks for your post Sunni, it really struck a chord with me. For years I have been dreaming about doing something creative but instead I've been working in a field that couldn't be further away from my passion! But hey, it pays the bills. I've noticed over the last few years that I have been really down & I think (if this doesn't sound too hippy!)that this has been because I've not been following my true path. I'm in the process of setting up a crafts business, blog & Etsy shop & I couldn't be happier. Ok, so I'll have to hold on to my 'proper' job for a wee while longer but I NEED to do my creative stuff. I feel like me again!
    Thanks again for sharing, R x

  13. ps. sorry, that was REALLY long!

  14. Sing it! I totally understand. I'm a stay-at-home mom now, with probably less time for creative pursuits than I had with the J-O-B, but I'm much happier and that's allowing me to keep up the energy for creativity in the scraps of time I do have. Keep making that space for yourself and you'll be ready to look/leap for opportunity when the time is right.

  15. I tell myself everyday that my job is just the gateway to being able to afford to do the things I really love. Unfortunately the things I really love fall by the wayside because by the time I get home from the job (remember that thing that was meant to help me) I'm too tired to do ANYTHING, much less sew and create. It's such a sad situation!
    We all need wise words like yours (and your sisters) to remind us that we don't NEED to be working so hard to achieve so little for ourselves. Your post has already made my day, and has made me really reassess what I'm doing with life!
    Thanks :)

  16. I'm sorry you are in this situation. I had felt from your posts that you were feeling a bit flat. Isn't it strange how the internet can make us feel as if we know someone?
    My family and I have moved from the UK to New Zealand for an adventure and we are due to go home in January, with a month on the road before we leave. My sewing problem is that I am itching to sew, have material waiting for a dress and am really keen to do more, but I am queen of the procrastinators and knowing we are having to pack up soon make me reluctant to buy more material and add more to our collection of Stuff. Not the biggest of problems I know, but still frustrating. I love reading about things you make and think your outfits for SSS have all looked fantastic!

  17. ok. I can really relate to this post. Last year my job/career made me miserable. Literaly. To the point that i fell sick. Now i've moved to another city and have a new job. I am determined not to give all my energy to this job... Because there is more to life than the way we earn money. We might not be like some lucky people whose passion is also their work, but we have a passion. And that's already something very precious.
    Take care

  18. This post really resonated with me, since I'm finding myself facing somewhat of a similar situation. My main "career" is doing something that I love (teaching music lessons), but the two part-time jobs I've been doing to support it have taken a turn for the not-so-stellar. And so I'm finding myself facing the thought of having to look for a regular job, once this school year's contracted commitments are over. I do worry that such a move will mean my job taking over my life, and how this will affect my flute teaching-- I'd like to keep as much of it as I can, but am fully aware that working a 9-5 or 8-4 job means that I'm likely going to have to cut back on that. It's kind of scary, to think of sacrificing the things I'm passionate about just to make ends meet.
    I hope things get better for you soon, and that you're back to your sunny self!

  19. yes, beat that man! i applaud you (and your expletives)!

  20. Hi Sunni! Thanks for this post. I feel exactely like you. I've just started a new job and since then, I feel totally overwhelmed with it. After work, I also have to take evening classes four times a week... So for the moment, I've no choice but to forsake sewing and my blog even if it makes me so happy. Knowing I'm not alone in this case is cool especially when I see all the pretty little things that you sew in your leisure time!

  21. Go for it!
    I don't know if this helps, but the lively creative person you show in the blog is worth so much more than a " j- o- b". I am actually really surprised that you are not a hot-shot PR lady or a film producer or a lion-tamer. Oh - or maybe you ARE! ;)
    What I am trying to say is - if you have a dream, get out there and pursue it... cos you only live once! We'll all be cheering you on!

  22. Right there with you! Parts of that I certainly could have written these days. Right now in the midst of a big shake-up in part of my life, which I think in a way is a way of telling myself that things CAN change, I can assert more... agency into my life, instead of feeling like you're saying, I give all my best hours to this job this is just a job and not a passion, and everything else splits up the wrung-out leftovers of me. It's great that you have a sister you are so close with, who can support and nurture the part of you that knows you deserve more, because you do!

  23. I love our talks! I would like to point out to you that you've never, not once, let anything you didn't want get the best of you. (And your job isn't getting it now either.)Maybe you should scan the horizon and look for some of the exciting things that are coming in your future. Your creativity doesn't answer to a "boss."

  24. This post makes me realize that at the moment my present work situation is very, very inspiring and joyful, and that makes me grateful! So thanks for this post, for making me appreciating my situation! Nevertheless, I find disappointingly little energy for sewing, and that's nagging me. I guess that reflects how life is full of ups and downs...
    I really hope you sort out your situation, so you can be happy both at work and in your spare time! If it makes any difference; I really enjoy reading your blog, so please keep sharing!

  25. I feel a change in the air.......
    be open, and you'll 'know' what to do.
    p.s. Did the mag come?

  26. I feel a change in the air......
    If your able to be open to it, the choice will be obvious.
    p.s did you get the mag?

  27. I just found your blog, via Grosgrain, and I love this post. I am sure there are so many who can relate to your situation and feelings here. I know I can. I also have a day job that I am not passionate about, in the least. And although I try to do a good job at what I'm being paid to do (and yes, it's for The Man, Corporate America Himself) because of the work ethic my parents taught me at a young age, it just doesn't "do it" for me. I want to be home and to spend all day in my sewing room, creating fun things. You are an inspiration. I love your September project, I wish I could say I have enough self-stitched things to wear each day for an entire month, but I do not. And that must change!
    Keep sewing, and sharing the beauty.

  28. I wish I could express how much I relate to this post. Keep up.


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